It's Back Online.. But she's not coming home.
It all happened here these past 2 weeks.
By the time you get to read this, the wheels are long-set in motion. Read: 3 days. (Aah the joys of being in transit).
I had made you a video from an infinity swimming pool I came across wandering the streets of Manuel Antonio Costa Rica a few days ago. It was the most incredible sunset I’ve ever seen. But the footage didn’t load properly, and now I can’t show you. Thats OK. I needed to write to you anyway. I feel like this needs to be typed.
I want to give you an update, and let you in on whats been going on behind the scenes here. It’s a lot. So I’ll attempt to keep it short. But if you don’t want to read the whole lot, in summary, I’m alive. If you want to know my announcement, scroll to the end. (But I think you get it from the photo)
On the 2nd May 2013, I took off on a 2-week “holiday” which I extended to a month, just to see if I could do a trial run of the whole “location independent” dream I’ve held for the past 10 years. I had 10 days to prepare.
That was almost 5 months ago. I kept extending the “trip”.
It’s been kinda weird though, because I left thinking I was coming back soon, so I didn’t really say goodbye to anyone properly. Maybe that was a good thing! It was definitely easier to get on the plane than some of my other wandering counterparts.
Every day now, there’s a new corner. A new opportunity. A new experience. A fresh perspective. A new person who changes my life. A thrilling conversation. An adventure.
But I still felt this deep sense that I needed to come home at some point, and get back to the real world.
When I arrived in New York, I thought I was the only one in the world who wanted to live like a gypsy nomad and make it work. I was oh-so-wrong. Its like the entire universe was cracking up laughing at me for thinking I was alone in my dreams for so long - because as soon as I stepped off the plane, I met a series of people who have shaped the direction of my life, and who are ten steps ahead.
In these past few months I’ve been connected to some of the biggest game-changers in the online world, and working with my new coach Vienda Maria to help me transition to this way of living. Its extremely fun!
I’ve been so busy busy busy. I’ve been taking photos, making videos, travelling to random countries on a whim, climbing mountains, trekking the sahara desert and dancing by the fire, surfing waves in morocco, swimming (accidentally) with crocodiles, and purposefully with whale sharks, and coaching my fabulous clients from all kinds of interesting places. I’ve been Building a new website and teaching workshops all around the world. Masterminding with incredible humans, and re-vamping my business.
It hasn’t all been easy and fun though. I’m learning so much and being challenged and tested each step of the way. I had a run-in with a rock on a highway while driving in Cuba that missed my face by 15cm. We nearly died. I have been stuck in airports and had flights delayed. My computer has changed time zones on me and my calendar has fucked up the times, so I’ve missed meetings. My videos don’t upload in most places. I don’t sleep very much. I have no kitchen to cook food in, and international flights are expensive when you book them 2 days in advance.
I’ve changed time zones 22 times in the past 18 weeks. Maybe more. I’ve been in over 35 airports. I’ve been moving extremely fast, still sometimes carrying a hangover belief system that I need to see everything in a rush, because “at some point this adventure comes to an end”.
Last week though, was a game-changer. I honestly feel like a new person.
I attended the Trailblazers Retreat in Costa Rica with a handful of incredible extraordinary people. I was invited as a workshop leader, amongst 6 others, and I taught 2 incredibly fun workshops though the week on my favourite topic, and one that is incredibly close to my heart - body negotiation. But we also got to be students, and hear everyone else’s awesome-sauce. And everyone had something new and different to speak about. Just being in that room with so many amazing souls, changed my life. It was a week I will never, ever forget.
Have you ever had one of those experiences? You walk in like, yep, just another day, and your mind is completely blown sideways?… yep… it was one of thooooose weeks =)
I feel like my heart was ripped wide open for the first time in years. In the most beautiful of ways. Never in my life have I felt more supported and connected to a bunch of strangers in such a short space of time. I don’t think I have ever cried so vulnerably in my life. I don’t think I have ever spoken so openly from my heart. I burnt a journal in a fire ceremony that I’ve been carrying around with me since the start of the year when I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years. It had a lot of pain in it. (Thats a post for anther day) I ran into the ocean in the nude with 2 friends in the middle of the day. I told my life’s story to a group of people for the first time - the whole story - including the bits that have previously been edited out. I let go of a lot of old belief systems, and opened up to a new way of being. I brought everything I was ashamed of to the surface and dissolved it. I shared some new techniques I’ve been playing with in my coaching to the group, and they liked them. I watched the sunrise every morning over the ocean and meditated. I woke up to the sound of howler monkeys outside. And we danced. My goodness did we dance.
It was completely unexpected, and oh-so-needed.
These peeps are some powerful muthas. And I like being around them.
And that’s why, I’m not coming home.
...Not yet anyway.
My plan was originally to start making my way back across the USA, catch up with some buddies, and head back to Australia for Summer, but my body wasn't into it. I always know when something is right, because my intuition speaks up. My gut instincts scream at me... and that didn't happen until 3 days ago when I realised my biggest opportunity for growth is not going home and "ending the adventure", getting back to the real world, but expanding and diving head first into what I know is possible. I have no idea where this is going to lead me. But I know it's right. This is my real world. Right Now.
Last week I let go of the guilt I had for living my life the way I do - I feel like its an amazing life. I felt bad that I had left people behind. I felt guilty that I get to do this, and they don’t. I felt like there were conversations that needed to be had, and goodbyes made... and that I had to go home to have them. But I don’t have to go home to feel better, or to say what needs to be said. I just have to get better at doing that from far away. I’m better off continuing the madness that makes me so happy, and I’l stop when It’s time for me to stop. I’ll be back to Australia soon, but I’ll be moving on again.
I am so excited to officially dive into being a “citizen of the world”. Its comforting to be in a place where I feel safe and home within myself, wherever I happen to be. The feeling doesn’t require me to be in a country, or a house, or a certain temperature, or with my mountains of belongings. Its just me, and my personal entertainment system. (you, and what I get to share, and experience).
Everyone is better off when we are living as the biggest expression of ourselves. We vibrate at a higher level. We sing louder. More laughs, more adventures, more connection, more freedom. More Life.
As soon as I realised this, the next chapter fell right into my lap.
A few days ago I was accepted into a 3-month long “incubation-style” program for startup entrepreneurs. We are getting mentored by some big guns, for 11 weeks, 9-7 pm, in Santiago, Chile. Its called Exosphere. And a bunch of my best friends are mentors and participants. Its going to be another game-changer.
So I'm flying one-way to Chile, and because I know that that's all I know, and that this is where my mind will once again be totally expanded, I'm planning on mapping out the next year or so from there. On the fly.
I am so not prepared, but, I’m diving in head-first. I’ve rented an apartment in Santiago to myself for 3 months, which means I’ll be unpacking my suitcase! I arrive at 3:30am the day the program starts, and I have no idea what to expect. But I know its right, because I made the decision to go from the right place. My Body.
I’m ready for the next step. And I cant wait to share this next level of living with you…