You’re not scared...

…You’re at an edge

Tough love episode for you today.

Are you worried about sustaining your amazing business? Are you spending a lot of time worrying about something bad happening and everything coming crashing down?

As a result, you’re feeling scared, anxious, and apprehensive.

BUT I’m telling you that you’re not scared. You’re actually just at the edge of your comfort zone and you’re feeling all of the feels. Your fear mind wants to protect you so it throws all of these questions at you and keeps you focused on the ‘what ifs’.

Trust me, you’re not alone.

When we’re playing with high stakes we often tell ourselves - I’m scared because I’m doing the wrong thing, or my intuition is telling me not to do it, or I’ve gone too far.

I’m always reframing this with my clients.

You’re not scared, you’re just at the edge.

You are in the natural progression of moving through your comfort zone and when you come out the other side you will feel empowered and this edge will be your new normal.

I want you to get to know yourself at the edge, inhale deeply, and take a brave step forward.

You’re exactly where you need to be.

See below for a full transcript.

Don’t forget to go to the bottom of this page and let me know in the comments any questions or what you think or just share the love on social. Thanks

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Transcript of Podcast

Hello, welcome back. This is a tough love episode because you know what I'm speaking to you as a Superfreak and I have had so many conversations with Superfreaks this month that have gone something like this…

Haley, I'm doing this incredible thing. I'm doing something I never thought was possible for me. I am literally about to do something I have dreamed about for such a long time. It's already happened and now I'm freaking myself out. Over. Can I sustain it? I've just bought my dream house, I've just got a loan for a mortgage. I've just put down the down payment on x y z. I've just started a new initiative within my business. I've just collaborated with some dream people that I want to do this work with, and we're starting a whole new company.

And here I am feeling scared. I'm scared. Can I sustain it? Can I do it? Can I make it through? Is it really mine? Is it really happening is this is all just about to come crashing down? Can I sustain this level? What happens if something bad happens? What if I lose it or what if I end up on the street? What happens if I get found out and we get scared or we say that we're scared? I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared.

And you're not scared? You are not scared? You're not scared? That's what I have to say to you today.

You're not scared. This is an edge

…and you have done this before every time you go to an edge every time you take your life to any next level.

You purchase something that is more expensive than you've ever purchased before, you allow yourself to wear something that you would never allow yourself to wear in the past. You raise your prices, you say yes to or you reach out to somebody that feels really uncomfortable or scary or like too much for you in terms of dating or a connection or a friendship or a business opportunity.

Like you put yourself out there in a new way.

…And we feel all the feels what happens when we feel all the feels is you move close, close, close, close, close to the edge of your comfort zone and…

…then all your crap rises to the surface in the form of interesting ideas, thoughts, criticisms, very, very, very real reasons why you should not take one more step forward because it's dangerous and you're being irresponsible and this is crazy.

And you can't sustain it. It's just wildly stupid. And your fear mind wants to protect you. So it's throwing up all these ideas. And every now and again we can get so caught up in thinking that that is real. So what do we do?

We stop - we tell ourselves - I'm scared. We ask for help. We talk about it. We journal about it. We think about it. We talk to our friends about it. We talked to our coach about it, we think about it the more we write down in journals.

The more we think about it again we go for a walk, we think about it there, we go on a holiday we think about it there, we just don't stop thinking about it and we keep perpetuating the fear.

But we're also afraid to think about it so we start thinking about it and we go a little bit too far thinking about like all the bad things that could happen and then we stop because we don't want to keep thinking about it because we're worried that we might manifest something bad if we think about it.

It's this weird thing our brains are doing if you do this, please know that if you think I'm in your head, it's because you're not alone.

This is just a thing that humans do.

But if you're listening to this, you and I both know that you quite enjoy moving through different levels of your comfort zone. In fact, you kind of thrive off it you go to the place where you're at your edge and it might be the biggest edge you've ever walked.

And the growth that's required to go from A to B or A to L is uncomfortable, messy, confusing kind of draining on your bandwidth and you think oh I don't want to do this, I can't get through it.

Then you get through it. You're like, that was great. It was so worth it. What was I ever worried about and now I'm kind of bored again. So I'm going to do something else.

Superfreaks love to stretch themselves not from a masochistic kind of a place, but from a place of, it's interesting, it makes life fun. It's like How good can it get? You know what I mean?

So when someone tells me and they're in my world as a client, like I'm scared, my response is no you're not. No you're not. You're not scared. You're telling yourself this is fear and you have some interesting thoughts. But this isn't you being all scared hiding in a corner in the fetal position about buying your dream house. This is you at an edge, you're at an edge,

…and every time you stretch yourself, you go to a new edge, that's all it is.

So I'm reframing it with my clients constantly. This is not you being scared. This is you just at an edge. It feels scary. It feels uncomfortable. You might be sweating a little more than usual and thinking crazy thoughts about what's possible and what you're allowed to do or not. But it's not anything to actually be scared of.

It's a natural progression of moving through your comfort zone.

You get to the edge, you freak out
step two, you freak out some more.
Step three, you talk to your friends about it.
Step four, sometimes we step away,
step five, but eventually we get sick of ourselves complaining and winching and talking and thinking about it and we have a cry, and we do it, we leap.

Most people regret not leaping earlier when they do because they realize there was never anything to be afraid of. And now every time we go to a new age we tell ourselves No, no, this is it. This is like I'm serious. This is the real edge. No, I cannot this is… ….this is serious. I mean, all those other times I thought it was serious. But this time it's really serious.

You know your edge is where you get the most alive out of your life.

Your edge is naturally a natural progression between where you are and where you want to be.

Anything you do that changes your life or changes your day or changes your comfort levels is an edge

… and if you're listening to this, like I said, you've already been to an edge before you know what it's like.

The thing is when we're playing with bigger numbers when we're playing with more zeros. When we're playing with more stakes. We tell ourselves that this isn't an edge I'm scared and maybe I'm scared because I'm doing the wrong thing. Maybe this is my intuition telling me I shouldn't do it. Maybe I'm scared because I've gone too far. I've gone too far this time.

And while that's very real for many of us when you kind of sit with it and reframe it as an edge, you can see it as - I'm having all the same thoughts and all the same feelings as last time I did this except last time it wasn't as much money or there wasn't as many high stakes or there wasn't as much at risk. And I was okay.

So my invitation to you is to reframe. I'm scared to I am at an edge and I know exactly what to do with it.

So no matter what that edge is, whether it's your career, your business, your family, your art, your expression, your life, your fitness, you're at an edge.

I invite you to spend more time at your edge get to know what it feels like to know what your thoughts do get to know how it feels. Get to know that self that panics a little bit and instead of making meaning of it that has you step away, make meaning of it that has you take a deep breath, lift your face to the sun

…and take a brave step forward.

And to know that this is perfectly on track for me, I'm exactly where I need to be. It'll all be over soon. And one day, this edge will feel like my comfort zone.

Stay Curious, Stay open. The life you crave is so much closer than you think.

LOVE