Migraines and Millions
The Superfreak Price of Entry
We all have different things we feel are holding us back. There are roadblocks, things that need to improve and we think those things need to get sorted out before business can flow easily.
Whether it’s limited time, side hustles, children, or migraines, there is a myriad of factors that influence your focus and motivation.
For me, it was chronic fatigue syndrome. I believed I had to be completely healthy in order to run a business. How could I put in the excessive hours that society says I have to in order to begin a successful business?
But my willingness to let go of what it should look like and envision what it could look like has supported me to create an incredibly fun business and life.
I started owning it and working within my circadian rhythms. I planned my work around what my body needed and my business flourished.
So I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to remove one to get the other.
It’s not migraines OR millions, it’s migraines AND millions.
We have an idea of what we think running our business should look like in order for it to be successful, and this idea doesn’t include migraines or any of our apparent limitations.
But it’s not your migraines holding you back…
It’s this exact way of thinking that’s getting in the way!
Try to open your mind to see how your business COULD look. Trust me, it’ll be nothing like you imagined.
We all have something that we perceive is challenging and limiting our success.
However, none of this has anything to do with your ability to achieve everything you dream.
You can experience migraines AND millions.
This willingness to shift your way of thinking to accept that there will be both is the price of entry to no longer caring how it’s supposed to be done and doing it your own way.
Welcome to the Superfreak land.
See below for a full transcript.
Don’t forget to go to the bottom of this page and let me know in the comments any questions or what you think or just share the love on social. Thanks
Transcript of Podcast
Gidday. It's Hayley and welcome back. You know, often when I'm coaching clients, no matter where we aim to go no matter who they are, no matter the, I suppose, type of person that they are, whether they're totally motivated towards, what it is that they want or they've got heaps of stuff going on, no matter what the conversation, often will turn to something that is challenging one of my clients. A current challenge.
You see we often have something that we want and then, something that is perceptively in the way, something that is, "Wrong".
You'll see why I don't believe in that so much, as this episode continues. But it's really this idea that something's wrong, and how we need to get it out of the way, or remove it or have it be something else or not there, because we believe that it is linked to us getting what we want, it's linked in the sense that it's getting in the way.
So chronic fatigue syndrome was a really big one for me. I really believed that I had to be completely free and completely healthy. In order for me to live a normal life, to run a business. And while some people, who may even be listening to this episode, are really struggling with chronic fatigue and probably can't do anything except get better, some of us, you know we still feel the symptoms sometimes when we push ourselves too far, and it's really easy to get caught up in thinking 'oh my gosh I wish this just didn't exist, it's getting in the way of me having everything that I want.' Panic attacks has been another recent one in my life.
I have clients who get migraines really regularly, who are traveling full time, who have side hustles who have limited resources or time for various reasons, who have children with disabilities, or partners who need extra care, alongside entrepreneurship and executive leadership and launches and books and PhDs and big goals and athletic aspirations. We all have different things that we feel like, you know, might be... Sometimes it feels like it's holding us back, sometimes it feels like it's in the way, sometimes it feels like, 'I just wish this thing were better or different and then it would be easier.'
I'm here to tell you, you don't have to remove one to get the other.
What if they have nothing to do with each other. What if...
this idea that there's something there, you've connected in your own mind is having something to do with one another. When it truly, truly doesn't.
Now, I want to say, I have never heard one of my clients say that their kids are in the way. No, but the challenge for them is often limited time and attention, or an unpredictable schedule, and that's the thing that feels like, holds them back, right.
I do however have clients who haven't had children who expressed a fear that children might impede on their ability to fulfill certain desires and while I'm not a mum and I have experienced this fear for myself, for sure. I know in my heart that these two things have nothing to do with one another because of what I'm about to share with you here in this episode.
It won't look the way that you think it'll look. It can't.
And that's where we get hung up, we have an idea of what we think it needs to look like in order for it to be right. And that idea does not include the migraines or the lack of time, or the children running around that weren't there when our careers kicked off.
We have this idea of what it needs to look like, and that idea is precisely what is getting in the way.
It's not the thing that you think it is.
If you try to make it look the way that you think it needs to look or it should look or the way that you've seen it look, or be done before, if you try to replicate that, you will run into all sorts of trouble.
…But if you're willing and open to see how it could look.
How could this look, how could this be having both... having it all and you're willing for that way, let's call it, to be nothing like what you imagined.
Well, I can promise you this, you will blow your own mind, and you will blow the mind of others.
Soon enough, if you're willing to let it be, what it's supposed to be, instead of how you think it should be, you allow so much more opportunity to enter your life.
You open yourself up to so much more receiving…
…so much more connections so many more opportunities, so many more ideas so much more creativity, because you're not shutting out anything that doesn't match this weird vision that you've developed from somewhere about how it should be.
You've also stopped berating yourself often, so not being able to do that and not being some kind of super-human. But if you can embrace your Superfreak, you know like the weird wonderful things about you that make you exactly who you are, sometimes inconvenient, sometimes painful, often not, but sometimes purely just annoying like a migraine or chronic fatigue syndrome.
If you can… embrace those things and not berate yourself for having them but allowing them to be there and hold the duality of having that and still creating what it is that you want around that you truly will blow your own mind,
…and the minds of others and you'll have this moment where you'll say to yourself, you know what stuff is, I'm going to just do it the way that I want to do it. And all of a sudden, people will want to know how you did that because it's different because you know what collectively so many of us have stuff we all have something that we perceive is challenging.
We all have this idea that there's something, there's a reason why I couldn't do it. But it's not that. It's the, the way that you think it should look. That's the problem. If you can let go of that. Things start working.
That willingness that willingness for it to be nothing like what you imagined. That willingness to totally disconnect these two things, the thing that you want and the thing that you think is the challenge.
That willingness, my friend, is exactly the price of entry, a willingness to be completely imperfect and still hit your mark, a willingness to let go of how it's supposed to look.
…So that you can be imperfect.
I'll use another example here, this is one, because a lot of my clients, it's quite personal right, I will use up my own example of chronic fatigue syndrome in the hopes to highlight what this looks like.
You see I used to believe that I needed to have normal, predictable, energy levels in order to be able to work and to make money. And that's what I was told by doctors, ‘you'll never be able to work full time again, you'll never be able to do martial arts again. You're just gonna have to get used to working part time and resting a lot, and that's going to be the rest of your life’. And that was frustrating, but my willingness, and I'm really proud of my 22 year old self, my willingness to let go of what I thought business needed to look like, or having a full time income needed to look like,…
…my willingness to let go of that has supported me to create an incredibly fun business an incredibly fun life, right, to run a business.
I believed that what I had at the time wasn't enough I didn't believe I had enough energy, I didn't believe I had enough capacity and bandwidth every day in order to be able to quote unquote keep up and do what I was supposed to be doing so I didn't think I was ever going to, ‘make it’. Whatever that meant to me; I think I had a weird vision of what that meant. And I tried. Oh my gosh, did I try, I signed up to work with mentors who, I thought, could slap that weakness, out of me. I tried so hard and I felt like such a failure constantly, I was failing at it.
And eventually I had to come to terms with the fact that this thing, this chronic fatigue, this experience of my body is just there, and I can either resist it or, I could work it. So I started owning it. I started working within my circadian rhythms, I started making sure that time to rest, wasn't something that happened after work, but work was planned around what my body needed.
And just to put this into perspective for a second. I'm not advocating that you drop everything and start resting, unless that's something that you feel like you absolutely need to and you've got the capacity and the resources to be able to do so. I was coming from a place where I was starting from ground zero, I had all the time in the world because I was told I couldn't work and I was off work, and I had to build myself up day by day by day and create what I needed to create, but I started by trying to do my weird vision of what I thought it needed to look like. And I stuffed it completely didn't work, obviously I continued to burn out in different cycles. And so I was building from the ground up.
And I think that while that did not feel fun in the beginning, it was definitely a unique opportunity for me to test out, doing things I suppose in a way that I had been taught, kind of, precisely, not to, you know, I came from I was an interior architect I worked 8 to 6pm every day. And I was productive all those hours, well, I tried to be, because I was being paid to be in a room for a certain number of hours. But after I came back from being sick. I realized that I actually just couldn't do that and trying to do it was causing me more harm than less.
So, I rearranged my schedule, and it felt like a huge risk. I felt like if I didn't work on these particular days or these particular times if I've not available all the time I'm going to lose business,..
..but I kind of was going to lose business anyway, if I wasn't able to show up for my clients.
I hope this is making sense to you.
So I had to take the risk, for the sake of being able to continue my business, and it worked. The funny thing was, people started asking me 'how can I not work on Saturdays'. 'How can I not work at night and work in the mornings' and I found it really funny because I was like, I just kind of couldn't.
So I don't think it really has as much to do with what we're allowed to do, as it does what we decide we're allowed to do.
And that's what became really funny so
I really started to own my energy.
I started to own,
where I lived and
what I liked and
what I did and
the weird things about me that I thought, made me not able to fit in and possibly never going to ‘make it’,
…and the funny thing was, so many more people kind of came out of the woodwork and said, 'Oh my gosh. Me too, you know, how, how are you doing that I need some help. Can you help me do it,' or 'I really love that about you, can you teach me how to add more rest into my life, I don't have chronic fatigue but I would really like to you know give myself permission to do that,' and on it went.
So the main lesson here, right, is your life, your migraines your desires, your kids, your location, your sickness, the fact that you have a job or a side hustle, none of this is a problem. And none of this has anything to do with your ability to create and achieve what you dream of doing. The two are separate. And you can have challenges in your life, while you go for your goals, you can experience, migraines and millions.
That's my favorite distinction at the moment migraines and millions.
You can be experiencing panic attacks and massive productivity. It's not about pushing or forcing yourself obviously to do something when you're physically can't.
It's just about knowing that we float in and out of challenge, while we float in and out of not switching off our dreams and still going for them in and amongst the challenges of being alive, and everyday life.
It's precisely your belief and focus that your migraines or your sickness or whatever it is, it's precisely your belief in focus… that that is a problem that's distracting you from finding creative ways to keep creating. Often, we make that the reason why we stopped thinking about what we want, we put that thing in the way ourselves and we go 'I need to deal with this before I can deal with that' but
I want to invite you to consider that both things can happen, a polarity can happen all at the same time, and if you're willing to let things unfold, and potentially look nothing like what you imagined but still create what you want.
That is the price of entry.
That is the price of entry that willingness is the price of entry to being in a place where people then wonder, how did you do that, how do you keep winning. How do you, be sick, one week and then show up on the court the next - it's magic.
The funny thing is, every Superfreak I coach reports the same thing in different words, all of a sudden it's like, no longer caring of how it's supposed to be done and kind of just giving up is what it feels like and just saying stuff isn't like doing my own thing my own way, all of a sudden, people want to know how I did it. This feels kind of weird because I feel like I'm lazier than ever I feel like I kind of turned my back on the way that it should be done.
I went through major personal turmoil to like let go of the rules and do it my own way and now all of a sudden people are interested in it. This feels weird. I love it.
Welcome to Superfreak land right.
So, I hope you enjoyed this episode, I hope you've taken something away from it I hope you can sit down and…
…think about ‘what are the things that I think kind of hold me back or are in the way or are my challenges’.
Stop thinking of them as challenges and start thinking of them as
…the envelope within which we are designing the life that we're here to create, there's nothing that's in the way for you except what you put there.
I would really love to hear from you if this has helped you if you are realizing some things, please do reach out to me, you can find me on social media @Hayleycarr.tv and let me know if it really helped.
I hope you've enjoyed this episode, and I want to let you know now that
if you're a service based business owner and you're interested in learning more about this 'price of entry' philosophy, and
how to do it and how to make it work for you and you'd like my help.
Well I have a course that is opening up for enrollment on the 19th of October and it's called 'The Business of YOU.
And with that, this year we are also opening up something called the Bloom Business Incubator, which is a small business coaching experience where you can get personal mentoring from me, alongside The Business of You. So, we can create this Superfreak experience, where we have migraines and millions and we let it all be and we create magic, through it all, in ways that are so much easier and so much more mind blowing and bigger and better and brighter than you could possibly ever have imagined.
With the vision that you had and how it should look like, you know what I mean. So, check it out below this episode there'll be a little link under there. We're gonna start on November one, and I hope to see you there. So thanks for listening and I'll see you soon.
Stay Curious, Stay open. The life you crave is so much closer than you think.
LOVE
