Are You A Future-Tripper?
It's a good trip, the 'ole future trip.
Usually taken straight up, dirty.
Daydreaming about the new love you've lit, bubbling below the surface of actualisation and imagination.
Wading in your own honey-thick pool of dreamy desire and destination honeymoon.
Hold up there, speed racer.
This trip is a nasty sucker. Sucking you right into thinking that these sweet feelings are the cultivation of orgasmic epicness. As good as it gets, until it becomes real, or shattered.
But there's something even sweeter, if you'd so care to press pause on your slow dance track for a moment and lean in a little. It's hidden below the surface.
Reality, she is. Opportunity, it be. Right here. In the now. The nectar of truth.
Scary as heck to open your eyes to the first time. Impossible to ignore from here on in.
Take a look for yourself, and learn what to do instead... even better:
You Can Always Guarantee A Person to Show You Exactly Who They Are.
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Here is the content of this video
Hi.
Are you a future tripper. Do you do this, you meet someone you feel really attracted to them and then you start thinking about all the things you're going to do together, all the places we'll go and the things that we'll wear and he'll say this and she'll say that and we'll going to get married and this is what we're going to do and this is what our kids names will be.
Are you a future tripper do you find yourself doing this? Well hold up there Speed Racer because this is a really dangerous place to be. When we need to trip, we miss out on key red flags of people showing us who they actually really are in the beginning it can set us up for a lot of disappointment and heartache, down the track, but it can also have us missing out on some really beautiful things in the present.
So when a relationship keeps up there are two strategies that get run through the first one is the attraction strategy. This is the strategy that subconsciously gets fired off that says, hey there. Yes, I am attracted to you. Oh yes.
And the second strategy. Strategy number two is the deep love strategy and this is the same subconscious strategy that gets fired off when we fall deeply in love with someone, and know that over the long term, this person is going to fulfill your long term values.
Now, there are two different strategies, and ideally in a relationship, what you want to be is with somebody who fulfills both: your deep love strategy and get someone who knows how to trip you up and turn you on.
However, it is possible for someone to be completely firing off your attraction strategy, and yet the completely wrong for you as a not fulfilling, or not being aligned with your long term values. Now the problem is, is that we don't realize, ultimately, that there are two strategies going on here. So, sometimes we try and fit this person into our long term strategy value vision, instead of allowing them to show us who they really are. We try and change them and fit them in because we're so fearful that we're really attracted this person we don't want to lose them. And ultimately, it's not good for either of you to be in that situation.
So, here's what to do.
Step number one, acknowledge that you're in the beautiful attraction strategy and allow yourself to lavish up the attention and the affection and the attraction. Enjoy the feelings of being attracted to someone enjoy them being attracted to you. That's the whole point. Just allow yourself to be here and enjoy it.
Step number two, allow this person to show you who they are. Now there's one thing that you can ultimately trust in a relationship and that is that people show you who they are, they show you right from the beginning, and if you keep your eyes and your ears and your heart open, you see it. If you try and fit them into your expectations of a long term deep love strategy, you miss it. So just allow them to show you who they are, allow them to show you how they're going to treat you allow them to show you how the'll romance you, and the relationship, allow them to show you how they treat themselves and how they respond to the world.
And then Step number three is decide, fearlessly and graciously, work out whether this is the type of person who fulfills those deep love, long term values of yours, and decide if you want to keep them around, or not. If you do find that you're in a relationship or a situation where you're extremely attracted to someone that ultimately, your values don't line up, then just graciously let them go and allow yourself to then open up to the next round of attraction phase and deep love strategy phase.
Thank you so much for watching if you liked this video please share it with your friends and if you want more resources.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
I want you to be empowered in your relationships.
It requires presence, grace, and patience. When you can cultivate these states of being in your everyday interactions, you truly get to taste what life is delivering - on a platter - to you right now. Instead of swishing it aside and visualising the desert menu, when you haven't even gotten to know your table-mate.
When you're truly living in the moment of a relationship, weather its going somewhere or not, you get to enjoy it for what it is. And that, my friends, is delicious.
Stay Curious, Stay open. The life you crave is so much closer than you think.
Love,
Hayley x x
P.S -The Fierce Salon is here for you, when you're ready. You want to embody a new way of being? Lets get in there, and do some deep reshuffling.
