What I do Hurts - Please read
Hayley Carr Life Coach - What I do hurts
I know the pain of going around in circles mentally with myself without result-bringing action for years on end.
I also know the elation of breaking through glass ceilings over and over again to reach heights people only dream about.
I also understand the loneliness that can come from the dark side of that high achievement.
And I know the hurt or beauty a single sentence can bring. Especially as a coach.
My job isn't to be your best mate. I'll love you hard in a different way, though.
The nicest thing I can do for you is to be freaking hardcore honest. Even if in the short term it's awkward AF.
Even if it makes you wanna hide, get defensive, or hang up.
Even if it means someone who is NOT my client, thinks I'm being a bitch. Even if it means YOU think I'm being a bitch.
That's not an easy job to choose to do every day, by the way.
To say things that make people say, "fuck you." Get defensive. "I know." Cry.
It hurts in the short term.
But the value of being told the truth when nobody else has the balls to say it far outweighs the discomfort of not understanding why things don't match up for decades.
And I feel it in my whole body. I know when I have to say something. My stomach tells me, my palms tell me and I go still. I have to open my heart and my chest and my body and remember the long game for this person in front of me who can't see what they can't see.
I know I can say anything when I have love on my lips.
Me being a good girl, nice girl, pleasant girl, likable girl... robs you of being a powerhouse.
It perpetuates your stuck-ness, buying yet another cheap personal development course and mentally wanking off to trendy quotes and nice ideas.
People think they don't wanna disappoint you. Or upset you. So they say nothing when they see what's going on.
It's also not everyone's job to say what they see - this is the value of having a coach, instead of talking to your peers about your problems and your dreams.
Really, they don't want to feel uncomfortable. They don't want to put themselves in a vulnerable position. They don't want to lose your approval. They want you to like them. They want to keep you. They love you.
So they rob you of knowing the truth, learning, and changing. They rob you of the years - maybe longer - you could have been existing without this hanging over your head, for the five minutes of discomfort before a lifetime of freedom.
I can't do that to people.
Especially if you're a leader. You're surrounded by YES people. It's awful to feel like everyone's just blowing smoke. It's refreshing to have someone say it like it is.
If you're a leader, your loyalty to the truth will get you everywhere in the long run. Your willingness to hear someone tell you you're acting like a twit will save your marriage, your career, your happiness, your health, your creativity.
#dontbeatwit
Surround yourself with people who are willing to be honest with you, not people who are only willing to be comfortable.
It doesn't have to be everyone in your life going deep all day, either. Just be aware.
Long game, friends.
Stay Curious, Stay open. The life you crave is so much closer than you think.
LOVE
Hayley xx
P.S - I want to show you how to create miracles in your life, and the lives of others, by simply opening up your perception of your limits.
The Be Your Own Coach NLP Immersive begins Monday, join the many others from around the world in this immersive online course.
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