I triggered the f#*k out of MYSELF this time.

My discontent had risen to flood heights. I had forgotten.

My business had been scaling up, I was mostly feeling so freaking abundant, except in one area.

I've had so many incredible money-making opportunities float across my desk. All in perfect timing too, when it was ohhh so tempting. "Come and travel with me to the Riviera, where we get tips from billionaires!", "Come and be the head coach at my international company." "If you sell this product, by helping people get what they want, you could be making a million dollars a year." Oh, so so so wonderful.

There is no end to the number of opportunities to make money available for you. No end, I say!

Pick the 10/10 for you and make it work. Nothing else is sustainable for the long term. You'll know it's a 10/10 because when you're there, doing it, you feel alive. Like you've never belonged anywhere else.

I say no to most things. I am completely living my purpose, and I will likely never retire. My fingers love these buttons, and my heart loves YOU.

But the funny thing about being your own CEO or whatever is that nobody throws a party when you reach your own version of the diamond. There's no confetti. No white Audi. No power suited babe, shaking my hand, walking me to my own corner office. No official start date for my negotiated new pay rise. No incentive trips. These are all the things that once sounded so tempting, but I reminded myself I can do all on my own.

My own accidental incentive trip.

And the funny thing is, I have done this.

Last year, a beautiful friend was tempting me so hard to open another arm of my business with a product I love. She was persuasive, sharing pictures of her incentive trip to Hawaii. Still, I said no for all the same reasons I always have.

I want to, always and forever, only answer to myself - knowing I could (and I do) take myself on trips all the time to celebrate and reward myself.

Then, only a few months later, I found myself in the exact hotel she had been at last year, gifted by her company. I was taking a few days for myself to chill before I went to my silent meditation retreat. I paid for the baller cabana with the view over the ocean. #hellosignsfromtheuniverse

Then I forgot.

The last six months have been my proudest. The balance of scaling a business and bossing it, a business for which I have made so many sacrifices to stay in the game for so long, I forgot to reward myself.

I realised this year I haven't given myself a pay rise forever.

Up came all my hesitation.

I bet you're REALLY damn good at taking care of and holdin' it down for everyone else, but like me, you might struggle every now and again to go OTT on your SELF - if ever.

So I triggered the F**K out of myself. No more.

The fear I feel is never real. It's made up of hilarious and very creative stories I've picked up along this adventure of life, and chosen to wear like a technicolour coat - infiltrating my experiences with their brightness and glare.

The story of martyrdom is thick in my blood. I carry a strong lineage of powerful women who will do anything for their community and family, yet leave themselves until the very last, only to pile more onto their plate before feeding themselves. Somehow, they still always look fabulous and have unheard of jokes and stories to tell. They're very clever!

Naturally, any attention in their direction doesn't just feel uncomfortable, it feels dangerous.

Hence, leaving themselves until the last of the last. Sometimes resenting it, often though not even realising. Just being fabulous.

So when I decided to completely flip the switch, I decided to go all-in on SELF.

I more than doubled my take-home pay. I purchased a sexy AF new car. And hired a personal stylist in the space of a couple of weeks.

And it felt... right.

OMG, triggered much? For me, yes. And, right

I had a way outdated idea of myself, which promptly needed updating. For myself, but also for the sake of everyone. I can't be walking around feeling discontent with what I've created - that's not sustainable, nor fun. Sound like anyone you know?

Money is ENERGY.

And it's energy whether it's spent on YOU, or your loved ones.

I dare you to go all-in on something you've been holding back on because you're afraid to be good to yourself for once.

Nobody is coming to give you permission.

That story ends here, with you. It is just a story, after all.

There will be work to do. Work that can only come up when you say yes and then trigger TF out of yourself, let it all rise to the surface, still say yes, and work through what's coming up as you go.

It's equally exciting and feels like shit. That's how you know you've nailed it in the sweet spot. Terrified and turned on in equal measure.

But that doesn't mean dramatic. That doesn't mean "things have to get worse before they get better." It means you get to decide to choose again for yourself what your stories will be, today, maybe over a cuppa while you read this sneaky article.

And the paradox is, it all starts and ends with you.

If you spend your whole life doing everything for others and sidelining your own joy for later, you're doing them all a disservice. They don't get 10/10.

Your SELF-mastery is a vortex of abundance.

Start with you.

If you can't do YOU for yourself, do you for OTHERS. They benefit so much from you not being so awkward about your needs.

Deal with what comes up- because it's what's holding everyone back, actually.

Don't retreat in the face of your fear, let it lead you.

And enjoy the ride. The view is spectacular.

Remember, everything you want is so much closer than you think.

LOVE