Nobody will ever give you the acknowledgment you deserve
They'll tell you, "you live a charmed life" but they can't see, for example, the view from the bathroom floor where you'd been crying silently through the pain when you decided to get up once you realised nobody else was gonna do that for you. For years.
They'll tell me, "oh yeah but you're Hayley, it's easy for you, you're a natural" - because they can't see the old scars and fresh bruises on your knees from years and years of drill practise where you fell over for months before you started to get even the slightest bit right, and you're still learning to improve daily. It takes a lot of blood, sweat, and tears for it to look so "natural."
They'll even come to the Hayley show, listen to you speak, then take your words, change them slightly enough to not sound verbatim, before even having a crack at embodying them, and regurgitate them to their crowds, calling you "someone" when they say "someone once said".
Because they have no idea of the risks you took, the years of trial and error that made you understand with such conviction, and the paralysing fear you traversed,….
just to get to the point where you met, in that stunning room you paid for with just the right vibe, so those words could come out of your mouth, in that exact way, so they could hear it just the way they did, in that moment they needed it most.
Nobody will ever know. Even if you told them, time and time over, they will never really understand.
Therefore, they will never ever be able to comprehend. Therefore, they will never be able to truly give you the acknowledgment you deserve for who you are and what you're doing right now, the way you're doing it and why it's having the impact it's having.
It's not their job.
People who play a risky, big game in the world - like you, often are praised, thanked, and parroted, but rarely receive the kind of acknowledgment that sinks into their bones on the job well done they're really doing.
From the outside in, it can even look like, "you don't need acknowledgment, you've got your shit together. You know what you're doing."
Usually you're too consumed in all the risks you're yet to take. Or what could be improved to even think about it.
And when you do get it, it feels like a fountain of sunshine over the top of a tall building on a cold morning. It warms you from the outside, all the way through your skin. It can be addictive.
With addiction comes withdrawal.
And resentment, when it's not even noticed - all these things you did.
It's your job now.
Don't wait.
Let the beautiful words of others - that sink into your bones, when they do - be a windfall. Not a lifeline.
Let the rest of the acknowledgment - the type that keeps you going and keeps the perspective, and closes the gap between where you are and where you want to be, be your daily breakfast.
Put your hand on your heart and say it with me...
"I am doing a Fucking awesome job."
"I did ________. That's why I'm here."
"I forgive ______ for not understanding what it really takes."
"I'm proud of myself for moving through _____. That's rare. Not a lot of people are willing to go through that, and not a lot of people even know I went through that, but I did, so I could do this."
"I am so grateful I have the strength, and that I am who I am."
"I am so proud of myself."
"I'm doing a great job. Look how far I've come. So much goes into the background of my life just so I can be here and be an example for others. I'm so proud of all the little things I do that nobody else can see. I see. I know. I get it. I love you. Thankyou"
Every day. Keep it in perspective.
Stay Curious, Stay open. The life you crave is so much closer than you think.
LOVE
Hayley xx
P.S - A short word on acknowledgment of the "copyright" kind:
Original Content does exist.
Anyone who tells you it doesn't, hasn't experienced tapping into their own genius yet.If you're afraid to acknowledge who taught you something in case the people you're teaching run off to learn from the original source, you're in scarcity mode. Trust in your genius, and trust that people aren't that fickle. They want to learn from you because you're you. Lift others up when you learn from them. It won't make you look less knowledgeable, it will make you a real leader. You can't fake that shit.
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