3 ingredients or 'willingness-es' for a life that delights you
‘Willingness-es’ is not a word. Except now it is. Learn that, google. Because these ingredients are willingness-es. You have to be willing.
I talk to people.
All day, every day.
My friends wonder why I don't feel bored or lonely living in the middle of buttf*ck nowhere. And why I don't call them back.
It's because I spend all day, every day, talking to my clients.
And through this talking, I learn a lot. It's a great privilege you see, spending so much time listening to people who are cooler than me, tell me about their cool existence.
I also see patterns. Shapes are occurring via person to person and program to program. The collective consciousness always emerges in common themes of conversation between myself and them.
One such pattern is where I tend to recognise that when someone is having an increasingly hard time being triggered, and repeating old patterns, it's because of one of these three willingness-es - as they shall now be known.
Here are the three ingredients that will determine the quality of your life.
1 - The quality of your questions (aka: your willingness to ask better ones)
If you ask yourself crappy questions, you get crappy answers, and the solutions to your problems become crappy, the actions you come up with are crappy, and you end up... well you get the picture. Craptastic. If you can become willing enough to ask yourself a powerful question that you don't even know the answer to - because it's so outside of your realm of awareness that it makes your eyelids turn inside out at hearing it - you'll do what's called "opening a loop."
When you open a loop, you need to close it. Just like when you watch the end of an episode of Outlander and those two bloody time-traveling lovers get separated AGAIN... and you NEED to find out if they both make it to Paris alive... just one... more... episode...
So instead of saying "why do I have no energy?" - which is a crappy question rendering you all the reasons you suuuuuuck and are failing at life right now, ask, "What's one thing (or ten things) I can do today that will energise me, and leave me feeling rested."
Or, "How can I do this in a way that leaves me more energised after it's done?" Or, "How can I set up my life, so everything I do energises me?"
Or rather than, "When am I going to win the lottery?" ask, "How can I create 50K a month working less than I already am right now. *eyesrollinbackofheadwithquantumleap*
2 - The quality of your communication
(aka: your willingness to listen as well as speak, and understand what you're really saying when you open your mouth)
When you can really listen to someone, instead of thinking about how you're going to respond before they're finished talking. Then when you respond, speak the exact words that you're thinking, instead of the ones you think will impress/beat/make sense to/not hurt the person you're speaking to... you get to have life-changing, real, deep conversations that leaves you feeling better for having them - even if they were uncomfortable.
When you create the right imagery in another person's mind through your words, you can meet them where they're at, get through to them, and really let them know you're here, you understand, and that you're leaving them understanding.
3 - Your willingness to be with the uncomfortable.
Really, I could have said it all comes down to this. Your willingness to sit in an uncomfortable conversation is where it all stems from. Can you look someone in the eyes and tell them exactly what you want from them, or, that they've just really hurt you? Can you be with the unknown? Can you say yes without knowing how? Can you risk hearing no, or possible public failure? Can you put yourself in a situation where you're now a novice, where you're usually an expert?
The more willing you are to live outside of your zone of comfort, and be with the unknown, the discomfort, the possible failure and the triggers - with your face in the rugged winds at the edge of the abyss - the more life will delight you with just how close you always have been, and always will be, to everything you could ever want.
So which one of these do you know you could improve? Pick one. Let me know how you go.
Stay Curious, Stay open. The life you crave is so much closer than you think.
LOVE
Hayley xx
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