How to Feel Worthy in 5 easy steps
Self-Worth. The Elusive, yet oh-so-important factor to the greatest personal and professional successes. In all my years or running and attending workshops, learning about personal development, travelling the world, falling in and out of love, healing my body, competing in sport, and coaching others - people often ask me “What’s your system for coaching someone?”
I don’t have a system. A system defeats the notion of individuality. Every single human on the planet has the same core needs, but it doesn’t mean the it comes to getting where we want to go we are going to fit through a system.
We’ve been taught to live in a systems world. That’s why we’re stuck. But there is one way for change which makes a difference for me, and for my clients, every… single... time. Doing the inner work to increase your self-worth.
The key to your wealth, health, success and freedom, is knowing your worth, and building the muscle every single day.
Let it be known. Self-worth is not something you are, or are not born with. It’s more like a muscle.
Or a bank account - which you can deposit and withdraw from. Every time you do something positive for yourself, you are depositing into your self-worth bank account.
When you act in a way which doesn’t acknowledge your worth, and act on it, you withdraw from the bank account.
If you ever find yourself speaking really negatively to yourself, feeling super tired all the time, stressed, anxious or stuck in fear around making new and exciting things happen in your life, or even simply being apathetic and resigned to the life you’re living - chances are, your self-worth muscles are flimsy. Here are my top-5 ways to build these muscles up again.
1. Do what you say you are going to do.
Pretty Simple, right? Well, not if what you say you’re going to do is far out of your comfort zone. (Like “Write my Book). Having goals that exceed your current reality is perfect, and once you become clear on what you want, it’s time to make a plan. Every single time you follow through on your own promises to yourself, you build up your sense of self-worth and self-confidence. So start small. Start with something unrelated to your biggest dreams - something like cleaning out the car or the fridge, or going for a ten-minute walk. Then, before you go celebrating, or even evaluating how well you did or didn’t do it, acknowledge it’s done. You did what you say you were going to do. You’ve got this. 😉
2. Remember: everything is your choice.
Yep! Everything.. It’s time to remove the “Have To, Got To, Should Do, Need to, and Must” sentences from your vocabulary. They are taking you out of your power, and making you feel heavy, and helpless. Yes, this does mean you don’t "have to" go to work tomorrow. You really don’t - you have a choice, and all choices lead to results. Yes, you may “need” the money, but choose instead to see the truth: You are so much more powerful than being a slave to your job. You are choosing every single day to get up and go, because you have other choices you want to back up. Everything is your choice.
3. Be present in the here and now.
When you’re focused on someone else business, you’re not in your own. (As Byron Katie would say). Right here, in this present moment - this is everything. You have enough money to be here right now and exist in this moment. You have enough love to exist right now, your body is perfectly able to be here in this moment, and even if you’re having the experience of pain in your body - you are still enough to exist in this moment. After all, this moment is all there is. Anxiety and fear are a result of thinking about the future. Anger, Hurt, Resentment, guilt and shame, are all reminiscent of the past. Find gratitude and appreciation of yourself and the world around you, in every minute. From there, you can make new choices.
4. Give yourself permission to dream.
Is impossible to do what you say you’re going to do, if you don’t say you’re going to do anything! In my coaching, often the first block with my clients is that they think they have no idea what they want, This is absolutely not true - the truth is, they don’t think it’s possible. They are thinking about how, before they allow themselves to fully acknowledge what it is they want. Nobody is going to give you permission to go out there and totally own it - only you can. What you want, is meant for you. Don’t fob it off because you don;t know how. Just sit with it. Give it space. Allow yourself to be a little excited at the possibility of having it - and just watch what happens.
5. Learn to centre yourself.
When you follow these steps, you start to develop an internal locust of control. In other words, you can develop a deep sense of self worth, confidence, and self-assurance from your own actions, instead of looking for external validation - where your self worth wanes like a roller-coaster depending on who you’re talking to. You stop becoming a people pleaser and start practising self-care. This journey of the inner self has you stepping into a role of leadership of yourself, And from here, you learn what makes you tick, What turns you on, what turns you off, and what brings you home again. Finding the space within you to come back to a state of peace will have you living more boldly than ever before - because every step along the way will be dreamed up, chosen, planned out, acknowledged, celebrated, and you’ll be walking through the process. Start by taking a big, deep, breath.
You’ve got this.
And I want to hear from you. What do you want? What’s the thing you dream about having, being or doing, which you don’t really admit to the world, for fear of it not happening? It’s time to let those dreams out so we can start making them come alive - this is what the world needs after all - people who have come alive. Leave me a comment below, and let me know.
Love, Hayley xx
P.S - Do you know someone who would love to boost their self-worth? Maybe you can send them this article, from you, and me. Or, if you’d like further help with this, perhaps you’d like to consider becoming one of my personal clients? I’d love to take you through the best year of your life.