4 Simple Steps to Reprogramming Your Subconscious
When I was 6 years old, in the first grade, my mum sent me to see a psychologist.
I was throwing epic, epic, tantrums.
I found out from my mother years later, that apparently, 5 other kids in my class were also seeing the same psychologist. I found out my grade 1 teacher was really competitive with us. So competitive in fact, one day, in the middle of the Australian Summer, in the sweltering afternoon heat, I came out from school to be picked up from my adoring mother with my woolen school jumper on - dehydrated, and sweating kiddy-balls.
When my mother probed me about what was going on, I told her it was going to take too long to take off, there was no time, so I just left it on.
She knew in that moment that my tantrums weren’t me being a 6 year old possessed. Something was going on. So, off to the child psychologist we went. And that’s when she made a discovery that became important in my later life.
I barely remembered this time until a few years ago; Going to the psychologist, and what else was happening in my life.
I remember getting a certificate at the end saying “Congratulations on getting rid of the Cranky Monster!”. And I remember that particular tantrum I described above. But not the rest.
And None of this affected me beyond that time. That is, until I was 25 years old.
I had just won my ninth world championship Karate title in 15 years. I was undefeated in a world championships tournament. I had just overcome an illness that had rendered me in bed for almost 3 years, and had returned to competition for the first time, as a winner. I was finally, free. You’d think I’d be happy.
But I wasn’t - I could already feel myself anticipating waking up in 24 hours, knowing there were only 2 years until the next title. I felt hollow, and I felt anxious - because I knew in 24 hours the glory would have washed off in the shower, and the pressure would be back on again. I was so excited to be back in the ring after 3 years of healing - and yet I was so disappointed that this was how I felt after such an elating experience. I couldn’t even enjoy it!
This cycle, I knew, was going to get the better of me. Folks, you want to know what insanity feels like? This is what it feels like. It was time to do a breakthrough. There was some kind of subconscious pattern running, and I had no idea what it was.
Through Learning NLP, (Neuro-Linguistic-Programming), I was able to uncover the hidden belief under the feelings I was having - and even trace it back to its beginnings. And from there, re-wire myself for the long term, in my subconscious (read = effortlessly).
All the memories from first grade came gushing back.
I remember one kid peeing his pants every day. (Probably out of absolute fear) And the teacher pointing out how much it stank in front of the entire class. (Disgraceful conduct if I ever did say so myself) Then, I remembered the feeling of desperation, trying to do anything to please this teacher, and have his approval, so that I might come first in a colouring competition, or even just pass through the front of the classroom door on time, and I’d be safe from some sort of public humiliation.
As soon as I knew I had made it to the table, and received some sort of star, or nod, or something… I could relax for the day. Or, at least until lunchtime. I was in competition not only with myself, but with the rest of my classmates too. If one of us failed the task, we all suffered. It was public, and peer humiliation of the worst kind. We were 6 year old kids!
I had to prove myself to everybody that I could be the best, and then I could relax.
…Are we seeing a little coincidence here?
A few years ago now, I worked with a man who had been a finance broker in the twin towers of Manhatten, NYC. After 911, he had some trialling times with his wife, and when we traced back what was going on for him, he had a desperate fear of being alone. It was causing him to misbehave in his marriage, and feel confused, desperate, and very very alone. He was hurting people he loved.
He had no idea where it came from, until the NLP process. We discovered that when he was young, he was home alone at age 7, watching a scary movie - and he was really frightened. From that point onward, he was afraid of being alone. And it showed up in a myriad of ways through the rest of his entire life - most recently in a heartbreaking situation with his wife. Imagine that. 50 odd years with a fear of being alone… from one, seemingly insignificant emotional experience. 50 thousand odd ways a belief can rear its head in how you show up.
How you do one thing, is how you do everything, after all.
But you see, all of our experiences dictate our beliefs as we grow up, Some we take on and accept as what’s real, and others we don’t. Your subconscious doesn’t discriminate between the good ones and the bad ones at age 6… it just soaks things up in it’s own unique sponge-like manner.
Often the thicker the water, the heavier the sponge. But not always. Some days, you can be a little low on resilience. Slightly vulnerable… and easily suggestible.
Sometimes we take on the most ridiculous beliefs from the most random experiences - like watching a movie. (Trust me though, that 7-year old boy will not tell you watching a scary movie alone is insignificant). But then again, sometimes we don’t. Sometimes, someone who has grown up with seemingly the most horrendous upbringing on Earth can have most beautiful, supportive, and positive deeply ingrained beliefs about themselves. None of it has affected them at all - and then again, sometimes it’s the opposite.
Its completely unpredictable, and in fact, not important. What’s important is what you do with this information.
Where to, from here? How do we Let go of limiting beliefs from the Past?
4 Simple Steps to Reprogramming your Subconscious.
Frame up the Context.
Firstly, It’s important not to judge, or even worry about where this stuff comes from - none of it is you anyway. Nor are you your past, your future, your experiences, your failures, your achievements, your work, your family, or your partner.
You are so much more than that.
You, are made of pure love. Pure Potential. In every single moment, you are shifting and changing so rapidly. You are not who you were 2 months ago, nor even 2 minutes ago. You are most definitely not your past, so no matter where these things seemingly spur from, first rue of thumb is, no judgement. You are not these stories
Mindfulness.
Think about the feeling you have that is out of alignment with how you want to feel. Maybe it’s a recurring pattern, a constant state of emotion, or a feeling of being “blocked” in some way.
Just, give it space.
Allow it to be there. Welcome it as if you’re willing to hear it out, for the first time.
Sit with it - and check in to see where this came from in the past. We aren’t judging it, remember, we’re just exploring. And we are only exploring for the purpose of awareness. Look at how it’s playing out in your life today. Make the connections. Track it to al the different areas of your life it’s showing up.
I will also add here, that finding the root in the past isn’t always necessary - more amusing. You can still have the same affect by simply placing your awareness on the problem and seeing where else it plays out.
Personally, my belief was stopping me from being able to relax. To enjoy my life - achievements or none. I was on a constant quest to prove myself - to everyone. And it was so deeply subconscious.
Do A Conscious Re-Wire.
If necessary, upon placing your awareness on the moment or the belief, you can choose to consciously re-wire yourself
You can re-wire yourself by simply placing awareness on an idea that is not your truth - and simply choosing again, moment-to-moment. You might choose again by repeating an affirmation to yourself, by doing some EFT (or Tapping): (Chat & Chew with Nick Ortner of Tapping Summit), or simply returning to your practise of choosing love. (Remembering that you are love - a bundle of light, pure energy and potential) Leaning back into joy, happiness, Flow, and trust.
Conscious re-wires work. They take effort, time, and patience, but they work. All you need to do, is be willing to choose again in every moment.
Do a Subconscious Re-wire - or The Breakthrough.
This final step is necessary if this is something you have no idea how to stop. If this is the case, seek out a professional who can help you uncover the links between your current situation, your beliefs, and our emotions… and help you to re-wire what is not working.Often this has a dramatically fast, positive, and long-term effect on your life, because you are able to drill down to a root cause beyond your own consciousness, tap into memory banks you may not willingly be able to access, and have guided help to question assumptions.
I often say to my clients that the breakthrough doesn’t get rid of one singular surface-level problem. It drills down right to the core, and changes your entire life - and in fact. it’s easier to change your life from the core, than change a habit from the surface. Since uncovering this hidden nugget in my own subconscious, I can safely say that my decisions, my achievements and my actions are coming from a completely different place.
Give it a try, and let me know how you go! Let me know, where did your negative beliefs come from?
Love,
Hayley.
P.S - If the Breakthrough is something you’re interested in, or have been wanting to do, I have a program called The Fierce Salon have a look and see if it is a fit for you.
