Use Your Ego” or your “Inner Critic” to Gain Inner-Peace and Fulfilment

The following is an extract from an element Vienda Maria and I are teaching throughout the Gypset Adventure: Sounds a wee bit counterintuitive there doesn’t it!

Many of us would know about, have experienced, or perhaps just heard of the concept of the inner critic. Perhaps you know it quite well. Perhaps you know it by a different name. The mean girl, The Ego, the conscience, Fear, The other part of you, or the strange voices in your head.

And often, when we do shine some attention on this concept she doesn’t have much good to say, Always talking about how you’re not good enough, who are you t think you can do that, who could you possibly be to think you’re capable or brilliant enough to take on such a thing… of course, she doesn’t get a good wrap.

But trust me on this, nothing in your experience or your body is designed to actually sabotage you, although that is exactly what it seems to be doing.

Sometimes our subconscious body has the most weird and wonderful ways of getting our attention and showing us some care. And believe it or not, thats exactly what your inner critic is there for.


There is always a positive reason for things existing, even if they don’t appear to be positive.

You see when you have an internal conflict, or an inner critic, or a crazy voice in your head telling you that you suck… it’s what’s known in Neuro-Linguistic-Programming as a Parts Conflict. Because part of you wants this, and part of you wants that. Or you really want to be successful, but there’s a part of you that believes it’s not possible, or you’re not good enough.

We look at this and we might think… uh oh. Oh no. No no no this is bad. Bad inner critic. Pipe down will you, you’re getting in the way and trying to ruin my life!

But, it’s there for a great reason. When you look a little deeper, and inquire into what the purpose of these two “parts” is, you will find that regardless of if they are negative or positive, they both have a higher, positive intention for you, and for their existence,

For example, part of you might feel really scared. And it stops you from taking action on a daily basis, with ease. You fret over every blog post. Every meeting. Every submission. You picture failure right around the corner. But when you really inquire into why that part of you is there, you see that she has a higher, positive intention for you. And that is, to keep you safe, for the purpose of happiness, for the purpose of freedom. Or perhaps she is there because she’s trying to protect you from getting hurt, or making a fool of yourself - for the purpose of doing a fantastic job, for the purpose of feeling fulfilled in your work.

Silencing her in which case, is a little dangerous, and, feels like a neverending battle!


There are 5 Steps to turning this around to gain total inner peace, harmony and fulfillment, and get every part of you on your side.

  1. Recognise that there is nothing wrong with the ego. She’s there to serve you in her own quirky, backwards way. She’s like the devil’s advocate, and she’s there to keep you on track. Sure, sometimes she pipes up a little too loud, but hey, maybe you’ve been ignoring her for a looong time (Ignoring her more then, isn’t going to help!). In fact, she deserves a few thankyou’s! She’s the reason you got here. She’s the reason you get dressed up and look nice and take care of yourself, she’s the reason you work hard, save your money, spend your money, work out, put yourself forward for things you want... she’s the reason you like nice things.. she’s a bit of alright!
  2. Acknowledge her, and ask her what her highest purpose for you is. It might take a few goes to get to the bottom of this. “What’s your highest positive intention for me?” Eventually, you’ll get to a big, universal word like, peace. Happiness. Fulfillment. You’ll see, she’s there to help you fulfill everything you could ever truly want.
  3. Do some Negotiating. Ask Her how you can Support her. Have conversations with her about what’s real, and what’s not. Make a promise to her that you’ll keep yourself in check while you move powerfully forward, and, if you’re not doing what you promised, tell her that you welcome her to pipe on up again! This acknowledges the situation, and the existence of the ego. It gives it purpose, and, it makes sure that you are holistic in the approach of your outcomes.
  4. Make a promise to yourself. Devote yourself specifically, to pursuing what you’re asking for, in the way that all parts of you are happy with. Be cool with the critic. She’s the constructive critique.
  5. Start having nicer conversations with yourself. The conversation between your ears is the most important one that’s ever going on. When you screw up, acknowledge it, and tell yourself its ok. Point out all the good things you’re doing, and pick yourself up in whatever way necessary. Treat yourself, like your very own best friend would. Or Treat yourself like you would your very own little girl. There’s nothing worse than being enemies with your own company - and at the same time, there’s nothing better than being besties with it.

Have a conversation with elusive ego, and enjoy what she has to say. This is truly going to make you confident, and powerful.

Let me know how you go!


Hayley xo