How to run big events without getting exhausted

Hayley Carr - Leadership coach riding a vespa

I quit speaking for three years. I don't want you to hold back your gifts for the same reason I did.

After running countless workshops around Australia and the world, both in my own company and for the martial arts club I was training with, I was exhausted at the idea of having to "show up" at a particular time in front of people ever again. I hated the idea of being "On", on command.

Well, at least in the way I had been doing it up until that point. I found it exhausting.

Exhilarating, purpose-giving, yes. Exhausting, also yes.

At our recent Play Bigger, Feel Better event, I was asked this question multiple times as the days unfolded:

How do you run events like this without getting exhausted?

So today, I'm going to tell you exactly how I do. And it's not just about "self care practises". It's how I do everything.

Sure, self-care comes into it. I take baths, I take time off before and after, I have a team to take care of tasks that aren't something only I can do, but it's how I think about things that make the difference to how I don't get exhausted.

Mindset is everything.

I used to believe that for me to speak publicly, in a way that was profitable and easy, I had to probably wear a suit, and hire a cheap room attached to an RSL club complete with the tea and coffee package, like every other workshop I'd attended in the past. 

Dark rooms, no windows, early mornings until late nights, a binder folder full of "worksheets" and a set curriculum I had to get through; the same one every time.

And while there's nothing inherently wrong with that - at all - after I burned out, I wasn't ready for it. 

My resistance to doing it the way I had believed was the only way, much like any other way we break the status quo - was the ticket to liberating myself from business as usual. 

The Five Mindset shifts that had me quickly up and roaring with online courses, events around the world, and a thriving business,My way. 

1 - I'll only do it in a way that gives me MORE energy, time, abundance, inspiration, and connection. Otherwise, I'm not doing it.

This might freak you out, but do you realise you can set up your entire life in this way? Maybe not, because I didn't either until I was challenged - nay, DARED to give it a try. 

I began to realise I was great at creating success, but only at the sake of my energy levels. To create success and energy, I had to challenge my brain to make new connections. I know we're only ever a few thoughts away from everything we want, and when I started challenging myself to think differently, by asking better questions, I came up with better answers.

Answers which led to experiences like Play Bigger, Feel Better being held in a beachside bungalow with a giant solar heated pool and spa, enormous stone baths for my team and I, huge pink velvet couches, and private beach access. 

2 - I'll do it in such a way that even if nobody came, my life would be better for it. In other words, I'll do it for me. 

Again, this is counter-intuitive to everything I learned about marketing, per se. I was taught I had to create what they wanted. And I thought "they" were the same people who were the ideal clients of the people whose work I was experiencing in RSL club side-rooms with crappy lighting and the faint smell of hot chips.

What doing it like this taught me was two things - firstly, the way I LOVE to do things is the same way my soulmate clients LOVE to experience things. So I started hosting my events in luxe locations with epic views, quirky interiors, and in such a way that it felt like I was having a delicious conversation with my best friends, rather than the "pressure" of being "on" with a script, and an agenda of my own. Secondly, even if I failed, at least I had an epic weekend in a luxury location! My life would be better off for it, regardless. 

3 - I'm willing to fail, spectacularly.

You gotta be willing to take a risk. And while yes, running an event like nothing I've ever been to was a risk, there was an even greater risk in not following through with it. For me, that was never expressing myself and the work I do, and if I didn't, people would miss out. I see that as a huge responsibility to share what I know. So you don't have to go through some of what I have.

Side benefit: It's not just all talk. When you run an event in a way that lights you up so much you could LIVE like that, every day, you walk your talk, and give people so much permission with your energy to do whatever they want, the way they wanna do it too - you're not just talking about it!

4 - I'll invite people into my world, rather than "getting the word out there".

As an introvert, someone who collects her energy in private, alone, the idea of "putting myself out there" the way I had seen others do it was stifling after burnout.

This simple mindset switch took me right back into my feminine power and had me focus on my being, my energy, and my powerful presence, more-so than my "doing."

Any time I began to tell myself the story that what I was doing wasn't "enough," I let go, let myself relax, and imagined having a bunch of best mates come over for a cuppa. This made it easier to be willing to fail, too. My besties won't judge me! It's all mindset, remember?

And as an introvert, inviting people into the universe you've created for yourself is easy. The idea of "getting the word out" is contrived in comparison. When you're doing great things, the word gets out on its own. There's no effort involved on your part.

5 - Money is ENERGY. So, what would feel DELICIOUS?

I have a practise of trusting the energy of a yes, over my fear-based thoughts.

This means I invest heavily in my events, my clients, and my coaching programs. I always deliver, but I always get paid in so many ways in return.

I've done it slowly over time, gradually seeking and finding more deeply incredible ways I can serve my community, and trusting that when I have a "yes" vibe, it's going to work.

Sometimes that means I take a risk financially, (well, my fear-based mind will tell me this), but when I'm dripping in the energy of what we've created, it's palpable for everyone. You can't fake a vibe. Not with people like you, Miss. You're a superfreak. You'd feel it.

So, I don't concern myself with the cost too much. I trust in the energy of a "yes".

My old business mentor (who I fired) would tell me this is a stupid way to do business. 

But I create my world with my words. So when I say "I trust the energy of a "yes" and it always works out", that's because this is the life I've created for myself, and my clients. I tell myself that, so my unconscious system searches for evidence to back up my new belief - just the same as when you tell yourself things never work out, and you end up experiencing just that. 

We are the creatrix of our very own universe, our world, our businesses, our families, our health, our finances, our everything.

So while I might have a "comedown" after a big event, and I will sleep during the afternoon, and require extra rest, it's not for being "switched on" so much that I've been "turned on." Life gets sweeter as a result. 

I'm fuelled afterward, for months. My energy is on fire, my connections are alive, my voice is clear, my body is tuned in and turned on by what we create.

The better it gets, the better it gets. 

Next time you're about to go for something new, Miss, no matter what it is, I invite you to read my words and ask yourself what would feel delicious.

I dare you!

Stay Curious, Stay open. The life you crave is so much closer than you think.


Hayley xx

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