Episode 73 - How to overcome the fear of failure - even when the stakes are high
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The fear of failure is the underlying topic beneath every conversation I have with my clients. No matter who you are, what you’ve achieved and what success you’re striving for, nobody is immune to the fear of failure. We all face it. The solution then isn’t so much about ridding yourself of the fear. It’s about getting comfortable with being uncomfortable because the fear will never not be there.
A fear of failure can come up at any stage of the performance spectrum. Maybe you even fear admitting what you really want because of the possibility of being ridiculed or people thinking your goals are unrealistic.
People often claim they don't know what they want, but it's usually to avoid the difficult process of pursuing it.
Admitting what you want
Admitting your goals is just the first step. Then comes taking action, which brings its own set of fears. You might worry about looking stupid or being disappointed. These thoughts can be paralysing. And then there's the fear of success - what if achieving your goal changes your life in ways you're not prepared for?
The Illusion of Fear
The fear of failure is insidious and ubiquitous. Yet, on the other side of that fear lies total freedom. When you truly see “failure” for what it is, an incredible learning experience, the rest of your experience becomes a playground. The concept of failure becomes irrelevant once you realise your fear of failure is a total illusion.
Taking Action
This is where it’s so important to reframe your thinking around failure. Instead of letting the possibility of failure stop you from trying in the first place, think of any action you take as an opportunity to grow and get closer to your goal. Sure, you risk not getting what you want straight away, but that's just the price of entry for any worthwhile pursuit.
Being comfortable with Discomfort
Successful people aren't immune to fear; they've just learned to be comfortable with discomfort. And so can you. You build comfort with discomfort by continuously putting yourself in situations where you risk failure and learning from each experience.
Once you admit what you want and start taking action, despite the risks, the mere act of pursuing what you love will feel like success.
The fear of failure is just a mental barrier. Once you begin, you realise the journey itself can be fulfilling.
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