Are You a Highly Sensitive Person? (And why that’s a great thing!)
When I was a kid, I used to be called oversensitive all the time. And I was sensitive! I still am. My parents even called me “The Princess and with Pea” because I was so sensitive and fussy about things.
Growing up I learned to conceal my sensitivity because I thought it was a bad thing.
But even through all my hard work to conceal this so-called “weakness”, it has still never failed to be my greatest strength and biggest teacher.
It is in fact, my greatest strength.
You’ve heard that Calm is a superpower…
Sensitivity makes you Fierce.
In today’s video, I’m sharing:
- What high sensitivity really means (it’s NOT someone who can’t take a joke and is weak),
- Why the highly sensitive population are needed in this world today (Even the animal planet can’t survive without them!) and,
- How to thrive as a highly sensitive, high-performer when most of the population are not made the same way.
- And what it really means to be a fierce leader. (You do not have to be hard core to make an impact.)
Video Show Notes: Here's the recent video I posted " A Miracle is a shift in Perspective".
Find out more about the Fierce Salon here.
Can’t Listen? Here’s the Transcript:
Hello! Welcome Back!
When you hear the word "Sensitive", what do you think?
Do you think it's a box of tissues...everywhere they go they that can't handle a joke, oversensitive, can’t handle the cold, takes everything too seriously?
Kind of wake or do you think of what the actual definition is which is quick to detect or respond to slight changes, signals or influences or having a distinct quick and delicate appreciation of other's feelings. Maybe you're somewhere in the middle. Maybe you can resonate with being a little bit of both.
When I was a kid, I was called oversensitive all the time. I was told I needed to get a thick skin and I needed to toughen up and my parents used to call me the princess and the pea because I was so sensitive to different fabrics being my body in the right or wrong way. It would cause me to have Tantrums as a very small child like with my socks were very wrinkled... forget it. I just couldn't leave the house. And so, that was seen as a real weakness and a real pain in the butt. And so, annoying for my parents. So, I just lose it.
I was so severely sensitive to other people's feelings. If someone said something to me that is quite direct. I really took it to heart. I couldn't stop thinking about it for a very long time and I required a lot of time alone because I was overstimulated and I noticed that in myself today.
But growing up and thinking this was a weakness. I really shoved this down like hid it from the world and it came out in different ways... my sensitivity because I would over react to certain things or I would completely hide from them.
But what I didn’t do to try and get rid of it and become less sensitive was actually do Karate. So, I became a martial artist and I did martial arts for 13 years. A little bit longer actually and in that time, my success in my martial arts grew the more I used my sensitivity to actually guide the way.
So, instead of just being really tough and pushy through things all of the time and not thinking but driving and forcing things. I learned very quickly that in order for me to survive I had to learn to become and to be mindful and to be present and something that Haley say all the times... "I calm is a superpower " and it really is.
Because for me when I became calm I was able to read situations so much better. I was able to push through pain barriers because I was mindful and dig deeper than I was ever able to dig before.
I was also able to read fights, read people and situations and I would know if my opponent had lost the fight before they even walked in the ring if their confidence was knocked. I would know if they were coming in too hot or they were angry and frustrated and that they will going to lose their balance and I also knew just by watching really tiny little cues in their body when they were about to kick me.
So, often I could read a fight and know what the person in front of me was going to do sometimes even before they knew what they will going to do and it really served me, but this sensitivity became my greatest gift and my greatest teacher.
Now, I got really sick between 2008-2011. If you've been following me for a little while you knew that. I was actually bedridden for two and a half years with chronic fatigue syndrome and what I know now is that the reason for that total burn out was because I was not taking care of myself as a highly sensitive person.
I was over-stimulated, overworked and trying to fit in with the model of the world that was never going to suit me in the first place.
Now, there's some studies that have been done. It's a woman by the name of Dr. Elaine Aron, a psychologist from the US who has written a book called "The Highly Sensitive Person" and what she says is that through her study what she's uncovered is 20 percent of the population of humans are actually classed psychologically as highly sensitive people.
It's not a disorder, it’s just something that you're born with and you are highly sensitive. But what's amazing is that 20 percent of a lot of animal species also have the same high sensitivity factor and what's been discovered through a bunch of different studies is that in fact without these 20 percent of people the rest of the world dies. It's pretty amazing!
So, if you can resonate with being highly sensitive or even being called oversensitive or being really sensitive to the cold or being really aware of other people's feelings or very distinct or slight changes in the environment, you might be one of these people that's considered a highly sensitive person.
What's fascinating about these is that a lot of the people that I coach and I know that I did this myself are also highly sensitive people and we think that in order to get things done and make things happen in our lives we need to go out there and be not so sensitive because of such a weakness and find people who are real warriors who will kick our arse and beat the sensitivity out of us and so, we find ourselves in situations where we get yelled at, we get berated, we get pushed really hard and sometimes it can be really good but it's not really sustainable.
We end up burning out or end up hiding or feeling so afraid to put ourselves out there because of the fear of burning out or becoming so closed off to our sensitivity that we lose who we are.
So, what's really important to note here, is that sensitivity is a strength. Calm is a super power. Sensitivity is a super power. And if you resonate with being sensitive in any way whatsoever, you might have notice that over the years you developed coping mechanisms, for actually coping with the world that is stimulated like I have and that 80 percent of what goes on in the world and 80 percent of what's out there, what people will tell you.
80 percent of the marketing information, 80 percent of the peak performance information, 80 percent of the food information, relationships information and life information just doesn't work with a highly sensitive person because we are literally quite so differently. Now, I find that incredibly liberating.
So, if you are somebody who feels like you just want the next thing to work and you really hope that it's going to work and you feel like you push really hard but you sometimes end up burning out and you just can't keep it up.
You might be a highly sensitive person too or maybe you're someone who has learned to cope with these sensitivity by shutting it down and you find yourself now in situations where you're surrounded by people who don't feel like they're your people, like something about you feels a little bit different and you're ready to get to the next level but you've know that you can't do it the way you've done up until now because up until now you've really pushed and forced and driven yourself and that doesn't feel sustainable for you.
Okay... I'm here in the right place. I run a program called the "Fierce Salon". It's a nine-month coaching group program. I work with seven high performing women who are ready to step out and lead themselves and lead they're lives. And through this time, we worked through my model of how to create sustainable lasting success in life, love and leadership.
Now the word Fierce is really important because growing up, I loved Wonderwoman.
I love women who represent strength and power and courage and bravery. But what I know about these women is that their greatest strength is also their sensitivity. Their ability to read things, their ability to love, their ability to feel and being fierce is not about pushing or striving or forcing or being a bitch to get what you want.
Being Fierce is being able to cut through the layers of what doesn't work for you. Cut through the fog of fear and start paying attention to the intuition, listening to your heart and letting that 10 X in your life because as a person who was not meant to be doing what 80 percent of the rest of the world are doing, that stuff is not going to work for you anyway and what you will find is that, if you start looking at your sensitivity or your intuition or your ability to feel as a weakness and start seeing it as a strength, you’ll start focusing on all the ways that it's holding you back and instead turn your focus to all the ways it will free you and make you thrive in the rest of your life.
Now, if you resonated with this today. If you think you might be a highly sensitive person, leave me a comment. I'd love to hear your story and read about it too and if you know someone who is a highly sensitive or who you think...Hmm..I think that's that person, I think that's that friend. They might love this video to know that 80 percent of what's out there is never going to work for them.
Please, I would love for you to send this video to them and let us meet each other because I would love that and also if the Fierce Salon sounds like something that you would love to do or be part of or learn more about. Then you can book in with me to have a conversation and a cup of tea over Skype and let's talk about you.
So, I put the link below this video. We can do that. And let's get together and actually have a conversation and we'll see what happens from there. Because I'm looking for seven people who are ready to take their lives. Absolutely to the next level and become fierce in ways that they could never imagine possible before.
Thank you so much for watching. I'll see you next time. Bye!
Stay Curious, Stay Open. You are the Omega.