On raising your standards - even in difficult times. - Ep 92

 

Raising Your Standards (Even When Life Feels Hard)

How shifting your “normal” can break limiting beliefs and lead to success that actually lasts.


Episode 21 - Available 15 AUGUST 2025

 

Subscribe now:

 
 
 
 
 

Have you ever had one of those moments where you hit a big win, you land the dream client, pay off the debt, meet the partner who ticks all the boxes, finally fit into the jeans you’ve been hanging onto, and then… six months later, you’re right back where you started?

It’s not because you “got lucky” the first time. And it’s not because you’re secretly doomed to sabotage yourself (although I know it can feel like that sometimes). It’s because your standards, the invisible benchmarks you live by, haven’t actually changed.

What I Mean By “Standards”

A standard is simply what you accept as normal. It’s the baseline you operate from without even thinking about it. It’s not inherently “good” or “bad”, it’s just yours.

For example:

  • You might always pay your bills the day they arrive.

  • You might always be 10 minutes late.

  • You might always have at least three months’ worth of expenses saved… or you might always be scraping by.

  • You might always speak up when someone crosses a line… or you might always let it slide.

These are all standards. They run quietly in the background, shaping how you behave, what you tolerate, and ultimately, the results you get.

And here’s the kicker: You can only rise to the level of your standards.

Why Raising Your Standards Feels Weird

When you first shift a standard, it feels uncomfortable, sometimes even unsafe.
Why? Because your nervous system is used to your old baseline.

If you’ve always had “just enough” money, having extra in your account might feel indulgent, even wrong. If you’ve always been in chaotic relationships, a healthy one might feel boring. If you’ve always worked 60-hour weeks, finishing work at 3pm might make you feel lazy.

This is normal. Your brain is wired to seek familiarity, not what’s best for you.

That’s why raising your standards is less about giant leaps and more about gently acclimating to a new normal.

The Gentle Art of Raising Your Standards

Here’s the process I teach my clients (and use in my own life):

  1. Systems.
    Remove the need for willpower. Automate your savings. Set recurring reminders. Build a routine that supports the standard you want.

  2. Strategies.
    Get clear on the thoughts, actions, and habits that produce the result you want. Then, repeat them consistently.

  3. Automations.
    Wherever possible, make your standard the default. For example, have money automatically transferred to savings before you can spend it.

  4. Gently, gently.
    Take steps small enough that your nervous system feels safe. Celebrate milestones. Make it feel good to stick with the change.

  5. Repetition.
    Don’t judge the new standard after doing it once or twice. Do it a hundred times. Make it boring. Make it yours.

When Lowering Your Standards is Actually Smart

Sometimes life throws you a curveball, illness, burnout, grief, or just a really tough season, and trying to raise your standards in every area will only make you miserable.

In these moments, lowering your standards temporarily can be the most compassionate and strategic thing you do. It creates breathing room, preserves energy, and gives you the capacity to rebuild later.

The key is to lower them intentionally, and then raise them again when you’re ready.

Your Standards Are Not “You”

This is the most freeing part: your standards are not your identity.
They’re just the habits, beliefs, and patterns you’ve been running.

Which means you can change them.

So here’s my question for you:

What’s one standard you’d like to raise right now?
And just as importantly, what’s one you’re ready to release?

 
 

Related Links:


🎓 1:1 NLP Breakthrough Coaching

For coaches and service providers building toward their first $5–10k months. A 12-month rolling mastermind designed to grow with you.


🎓 The Fierce Salon

For experienced leaders ready to scale with integrity, depth, and power. Join anytime for 12 months of evolution.


Have a Question you’d like to submit to the podcast?

You can ask anonymously, right here.

 
Superfreak Podcast, BusinessHayley Carrpodcast 2Comment