I have just returned from a weekend away practising ultimate state control – we jumped out of a plane – feeling NO adrenaline. I know, it sounds impossible, but its not. (I will be doing an entire blog post on this experience in the coming weeks, keep your eyes peeled!) It was absolutely bliss, and its all about assuming the outcome will be what you want. That’s what today’s post is about.

You may have found yourself in this situation over the holidays with numerous social events to attend, and end-of year reviews in full swing at work – stuck in an awkward conversation. This is one of my favourite things to practise, because it really gets one out of their comfort zone and present all at the same time.

I highly recommend making it a bit of a mission this year, to be the master of awkward.

Say hello to the cranky person in the elevator. Be the one who puts their hand up and says “I’ll do it”, and watch how it makes your grow, in communication and comfort with yourself.

I have a lot of big plans for this year, which are all rapidly shifting and changing as I put them further into place – its exciting and scary all at once, but that’s how I know its good.

Here is the content from this video

We have all been there at some stage... the awkward conversation. It could be with the boss, with your partner and your family, with friends, the art of the awkward conversation should be practiced by everyone. However, in order to master it, you must practice it. And in order to practice it. Well, it sometimes means that we have to have a few of those red faced moments.

So here we like to keep things real. You can't really avoid having an awkward conversation every now and again, especially if you want to have a life that you love, but you can make conversations, a little less awkward, and the way you do it is by focusing on you.

Most of the time, we are so worried about what the other person is going to think or how they're going to react. We didn't realize that the way we come across is so awkward. That that's what makes the conversation, awkward in the first place. These next few tips that I'm about to teach you are very very useful and super easy to implement. So here are my tips that are going to allow you to turn an awkward moment into a potentially heartfelt and meaningful conversation.

1. Assume rapport and be yourself. Rapport is a state of unconscious connection between two people, or a feeling of familiarity, without you having to ever have met that person or known them in the past, being in rapport is so useful for any situation, like when you're doing a sales pitch or going for a job interview, or just having a conversation with a friend because it allows you to be and accept yourself in the moment. So rather than being all awkward in the beginning and then making a huge effort to establish rapport, in the beginning, just assume that it's there already, pretend that it's there already and you'll instantly feel more connected with the people that you're talking to.
   
   Now, just a side note, the rapport that you may currently hold with your parents is possibly different to the rapport and the friendship that you currently hold with your friends. So if you're doing a job interview, for example, that rapport that you create with a potential employer might be different to the rapport that you create with a friend that you hang out with on Saturday nights, so if you're going into a job interview and you wanted to assume rapport, imagine that that person is already your employer, and that you love your job.

2. Be honest and authentic. There is nothing worse than having an awkward conversation with someone who weren't just laid out on the table and be honest, I mean really, If you're going to go there, go there, no holds barred. Don't hold back any information, don't be dishonest and remember that sometimes, you must take responsibility for your part in this conversation. Don't sugarcoat it. But don't go into blame mode either keep it real, and loving. That's it.

3. Speak to them the way that you would like them to respond. This is my all time favourite. Most of the time it's the fear of how the conversation will go that's more awkward than what you actually have to say. So for a moment imagine the perfect way for them to respond to what you have to say, or ask then speak to them, like that's exactly what they're gonna do, it's really effective.

If you want to experience a different kind of existence this year, contact me today and start coaching. I have worked with hundreds of people on cutting away all the unnecessary “crap”, and distilling down to living an existence that fuels you. Getting to do those 20% of activities that give you 80% of your pleasure, every day. And just like jumping out of a plane with no adrenaline, its possible.

Stay Curious, Stay open. The life you crave is so much closer than you think.

LOVE 

Hayley xx