It makes me so sad to watch someone give up.
When the chips are down, or because they’ve seen enough failure, or because it’s all become too hard.
One of the best phrases I’ve ever heard, is “When you’re tired, learn to rest, not to quit.”
I love it because countless times I’ve had setbacks. Health setbacks, energy setbacks, breakups, mis-communications, bad timing, and slogging it out only to fail.
I have failed so many more times than I have succeeded at things – and lets be honest – so have you! Well, that is of course, unless you don’t get in the ring at all… that’s really the only way to avoid failure after all.
But getting up, and back on the horse time and time again… it gets old and tiring doesn’t it?
Here’s how to make a comeback in a way you’ll feel good about, every time – no matter what you’re coming back from, and no matter how hard you fell.
It could be coming back from the weekend, it could be coming back after a major knock… this nifty little new perspective for you will have you leaning in, long term.
Can’t Listen? Here’s the Transcript:
Hello and welcome back!
Today I’m talking to you about how to reclaim your power and get back on the horse sister!
When things are not going so well and it’s not so easy at the time I get it.
So I hope today will give you a few li’l insights that can help spur centrist fears and inspiration and hopefully how you’re developing and generating a feeling of motivation and of power and then feeling happy and present back in your body when you fall off the horse.
Now it happens for all of us. We all fall off the horse at certain times in our lives.
Maybe you’ve had a big experience lately something emotional has happened and it’s really kind of knocked you for six. Perhaps someone you know is someone’s ill. You’ve had a breakup where you had a baby or you know something personal has happened or perhaps you are feeling a bit. Like lethargic or tired after you’ve had a big business rush maybe you’ve had a big launch maybe you’ve had a big failure or maybe you’ve had a big event or you know you’ve just been working for ages and you feeling a little bit burnt out. We can all fall off the horse in different ways.
So just apply it to your own personal stuff and business can also apply to relationships. So sometimes we fill the holes in relationship and things aren’t going so well. So this is all about how to get back on horse.
- First I want to say is that it’s not about never falling off the horse. Right? Sometimes we beat up on ourselves for falling off. And I really want to really want to drill Harm here that it’s not about never falling off because we all do. And to have that high expectation of yourself that says I’ll never fall off the horse is typically being a high achiever. I get it, but it’s also setting expectations that are just not able to be met because as human beings we naturally have ebbs and flows. And what were your aims might be at. Maybe you feel like you followed the horse with natural fact you just didn’t want to say in your life but also it’s inevitable that we will all fall off the horse at some point because while we can do our best to control what’s going on inside of us we can’t control the world around us and sometimes things just happen so if we have fallen off the horse at this time and you’re really beating yourself up, stop it right now! because it’s totally useless and it’s not helping you.
- Secondly, is that it’s not about never falling off the walls it’s about how quickly you can get back on again. And I let these really cool traits from giving Bernstein which says it’s about your comeback right. How quickly you can get back on the horse and how quickly and let you know we all fall off the horse regularly.
Maybe it might just be that you had a crappy meal today and you’re trying to stay on a diet. It’s about how quickly you can just jump back on the horse one moment at a time one meal at a time one book at a time one conversation that time staying in on your game. In that respect is that increasing your comeback right. Not never fall in with the horse. OK.
So I have three tips for you tonight.
Aside from those two little context based insights to help you get back on the horse and to kind of stay there as best you can because you can utilize these at all points in time.
- Call it! Right? Have the tough conversation. Call up your partner and say look we’ve fallen off the horse. We need to have a conversation. This is what’s going on for me. What’s going on for you. Like it’s going to be a little bit awkward as those conversations are but when you’re living from your heart and you want to get back on the horse. We can’t avoid the horse that’s the word that you want to get back on. So it’s about acknowledging it and going OK like this is what we’re going to do. This is how I’m feeling, it might be a little bit uncomfortable. And we’re going to do it anyway. Right. It might mean that you have to have a conversation with the business partner. It might mean that you have to call something off. Right? That happens as well. And just being completely honest about what is in this moment and being in alignment and in truth with what’s happening today. So number one is call it .
- This kind of goes alongside number one. And that is to do what you are avoiding. OK so one of the first things I’d do with everyone who works with me just about is totally giving away a big secret. Not really but we make a list of everything that you hate doing everything that you’re avoiding right now. And I made a video on these previously because I believe that this insight in and of itself is worthy of a video because it’s so powerful. But you make a list of everything that you’re avoiding either in regards to the situation of the horse that you have fallen off or just in life and you start to actually look at your resistance and walk through it walk through it and walk through it. You start to become the type of person who lives on the other side of your resistance and on the other side of your resistance is the more you are resisting something the more freedom and power is on the other side of it basically. When you’re doing the things that you avoid you’re creating freedom for yourself. And you’re not entrapping yourself in a world that says I don’t do this and I can’t do that. So when you look at what you’re avoiding it might be having the tough conversation and calling it. It might be leaving a job or a relationship or you know letting go of something or a friendship or something. It might be that you avoid putting yourself out there marketing yourself or having conversations with people or talking about what it is that you do for a living. It might be that you avoid looking at your bank statements right to start doing what you avoid. And note there is so much freedom on the other side of that resistance and sometimes we fall off the horse because for too long we’ve been avoiding somethings that could really give you so much freedom.
- My third tip I should say is that you have to be willing to get three when you’re going for 300 or 30. Now what I mean by this is sometimes we feel like we fall off the horse because we’ve gone for something really big. We’ve set a huge goal a huge dream and we’ve worked really hard towards it and it hasn’t quite come to fruition. And so we got off the bandwagon off the horse and just take a break for a while sometimes you know a little bit too much. It’s OK, but it’s about going you know what?
I’m not just in it for this one goal. And if you are you might want to be questioning why you’re doing what you’re doing. But for the most part most of us is high achievers and as leaders and as people who like to influence others in a positive way. It’s about having a big long term vision. And so while the first time you do it you might have huge expectations about what’s going to happen and they fall short and you can fall off the horse because you feel exhausted and tired and upset with yourself it’s not going you know what is actually a longer term vision, here’s so great I started I’m going into it I began I put myself out there. I pressed the go button or publish button or whatever. And although it didn’t do exactly what I wanted it to do. There’s another and another and another and there will always be another opportunity for me to do it. Opportunities are like buses there’s always another one coming.
Right? so, be willing to get three when you’re going for three hundred because this gives you so much resilience to give you so much faith it gives you so much purpose and it gives you so much presence in what it is that you’re doing. And the good things that do happen as opposed to focusing on the gaps of where you think you should be that you’re not, OK? So I have a dare for you as usual. I would like you to leave me a comment of these three steps these three tools that I gave you and the two context based insights. Beginning of this video. Tell me which one resonated for you the most and what action you’re going to take because of that? I would love to hear from you. I love reading your comments and hearing what you have to say about this and of course I read every single one and I comment back. So thank you. And I hope this has really helped you. So if you like it please like it! subscribe to my channel and if you know someone who could really use a little bit of this today then place them an email, shoot them an email with this blog post inside it. Now there’s more. You can come over to HayleyCarr.TV and sign up for my beautifully unstoppable starter kit which includes a meditation some awesome groovy desktop wallpapers to keep you in spite of your computer and also a free E-book that I wrote for you on how to create anything that you want sustainably over and over and over again. Plus when you join the tribe you’ll get free access to me. You can write me emails and you get insights from me that I only share thru emails. So I love to see you there. In the meantime, thank you so much for watching. I really do appreciate it. And I’ll see you next week.
Bye for now!
Stay Curious, Stay Open. You are the Omega.
Love, Hayley x x
P.S – Did you know I’m opening the Fierce Salon again this Winter? If you’re excited to secure a seat, or you want to know more, get in touch with me here. Lets get to know each other!